It’s Winter’s fault. There’s no other explanation. Because I am not the type of person that would, under normal weather circumstances, dye her hair blue. I didn’t do it as a teen or in college and yet here I am, with blue hair. Is this a mini-midlife crisis? Is this because I’m turning 40 in a few months? Who knows? But I do know who is to blame: Winter.
For the record, I haven’t gone completely Avatar, it’s not my whole head, just a chunk–a messy chunk. Here’s the skinny: My daughter, for her 9th birthday, wanted to put a little color in her hair. Fun! It’s hair right? So a couple of weeks ago I took her to my good friend Barb’s salon and Maylie walked out on cloud nine with a cool purplish-tealish non-permanent streak in her almost black hair. It faded quicker than we all expected so a couple of days ago, Barb put in this gorgeous midnight blue:
Before we left, Barb held out the bowl of leftover blue. “You want to take this home?”
I turned giddy. You’re sending me home with the blue? I think I even laughed like a crazy person when I walked out with the bowl.
Elijah! I have blue hair dye! Want some?
Ah, No Mom.
Doug. Blue! Blue hair dye!
Yeah, I don’t think so.
I eyed the dog. She could certainly pull off blue. But she doesn’t stop moving and therefore the whole house would be blue.
Somebody had to use this beautiful blue. The blue was too pretty to throw away. The blue was making me happy. And it’s been SO COLD for SO LONG and that has been making me UNHAPPY. Blue = happy. Cold = unhappy. The blue blob was antithesis to cold! The blue blob is enemy to WINTER! I chose HAPPY! I chose BLUE!
And so, WITHOUT pony-tailing, bobby pinning, or clipping down any of the rest of my hair, I recklessly grabbed a chunk of my hair, plopped a piece of foil under it, and told Doug to give it a good slathering. He did. Maybe a little too good. And I let that pretty, happy blue penetrate my hair for about thirty minutes. Ha! Take that winter! I’ll show you!
Rinse. Wash. Dry.
My slapdash streak of blue makes me happy, sometimes, and sometimes I want to know who took over my body for a half an hour. Sadly, impulsiveness sometimes means sloppy. Parts look green. Which, on the bright side, in a few weeks I can pin on St. Patrick’s day. The point is, Winter is entirely to blame, and, what’s more, the blue hasn’t made the cold go away. At any rate, I plead
insanity winter. Winter made me do it.
I’m not alone in this, right? Winter affects your brain too, right? Anyone? Some days, it’s just too cold to think straight. I propose we make winter perpetual scapegoat. Yes I ran that red, Officer but it’s too cold to stop. I gotta keep moving or I’ll freeze to death.
I guess that’s not entirely fair, so I’ll make a list of things I like about Winter.
Things I like about Winter:
- The freezer in the garage doesn’t use any electricity
- The Olympics
I feel so much better now. Also, purple is a pretty color…