I have been married eighteen years. Today. I don’t know everything, I’m certainly no marriage expert, but here’s what I know:
Marriage will be great. It will be good. It will be ho-hum. It will be terrible. Repeat, in no particular order, and throw in various other adjectives.
It will bring out the best in you sometimes, but more often, it will bring out the worst in you and your fellow “I-do-er” but that’s when love becomes love. When it’s hard. When it’s an act of will. When you and your loved one are not so lovable and you chose love anyway. I do. I will.
Everything is better in the morning. Except for your breath, but that’s an easy fix.
The gooey feelings come and go, ebb and flow. Don’t freak out. You can love someone with actions and allow someone to love you with actions and often the gooey feelings follow, thicker and richer than before.
Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. About Every.Thing.
Pushing through the yuck can lead to the better. Having the fight can ultimately bring the peace.
Our particular “tough times”? I didn’t expect them. And the abundance of blessings we’ve received? Those have caught me by surprise too. Expect the unexpected.
It takes two. It takes time. It takes work. It takes God. It takes more I forgive you/forgive me’s than I love you’s. It takes good food, good sex, (yup, I said it) good talks, and good humor. It takes a whole lot of serving and a whole lot of listening and a whole lot of putting-you-firsting.